Best Life - May 2009

THEBESTADVICE

whose medical histories include at least

one “cardiac event.” If you don’t fall into

either category but still want to safeguard

your ticker, start exercising vigorously for

at least 30 minutes a day and eat more

omega-3-rich fish, such as salmon, tuna,

and mackerel. Just three servings a week

can reduce your heart-attack risk by 24

percent, according to a recent study. If

you’re not keen on fish, take an omega- 3

supplement, aiming for 1,000 milligrams

a day. The best is Lovaza, a prescription

brand that is more concentrated and

purified than over-the-counter varieties.

Also consider adding 2,000 milligrams of

vitamin D to your supplement list; men

with low levels of this vitamin have a

higher risk of cardiovascular disease.

BARRY J. BELLOVIN, M.D.

Dr. Bellovin is a cardiologist at North Shore

University Hospital, in Manhasset, New York,

and a clinical instructor in medicine at New

York University Medical Center.

TECH
How can I protect
myself against
“cyberspite”?

Manage your online reputation like a

politician controls his public image: Focus

the bulk of your efforts on pursuing your

own positive agenda, and have someone

else take care of day-to-day slanders. Why

is it so important to protect your online

image? Eighty-three percent of executive

recruiters said they use the Internet to

uncover additional information about

candidates, according to a recent survey
by ExecuNet.com, a job-search site for
executives. Here’s what to do:
Harness the power of Google. Google’s
search bots already scour the Internet for
information to index, and if you sign up for
Google Alerts ( google.com/alerts), you’ll
be notified every time they find something
related to your name or business.
Watch where you post. Use only Web
sites that give you control over who can
access and comment on your personal
information. LinkedIn, for example, allows
users to micromanage other users’ access
to nearly every aspect of their accounts,
and Craigslist supplies anonymous IDs to
protect its users.
Strike cyberspite from the record.
Rather than waste time and energy
trying to remove slanderous content
yourself, hire an online watchdog
to do it for you. Editor’s suggestion:
Enlist the help of Reputation Defender
( reputationdefender.com). For $15 a
month, this company will monitor what’s
said about you online and attempt to
remove any content you deem undesirable.
Bury slanderous gossip. If you’re unable
to remove slanderous material (newspaper
articles, for example, are nearly impossible
to take down), bury it. Web sites such as
claimid.com and naymz.com allow you
to consolidate favorable Internet content,
and then have that information pop up
whenever someone types your name into a
search engine. Best of all, both services are
free. M. RYAN CALO, J.D.
Calo is a residential fellow at the Center for
Internet and Society at Stanford Law School.

FATHERHOOD
Should I offer cash
incentives for good
grades?
No—reach for your wallet only as a last
resort. If you pay for good grades, you may
fail to address the real reasons that your
kid is struggling. Use these tips to help
your child stay motivated:
Focus on the good. Praise can be a
powerful motivator, especially when it’s
specific (e.g., say “Your description of life
in covered wagons is vivid” rather than
“Nice job”). Also, praise what matters:
effort and persistence (e.g., “I’m proud
of the way you’ve stuck with this math
assignment; I know it’s challenging”).
Encourage realistic goals. Your daughter
might have her sights set on a spelling-
bee championship, but make sure she
understands that you’re pleased more by
her hard work than a medal. By encouraging
kids’ sense of accomplishment, you’ll also
help them build self-confidence.
Foster a culture of learning. Make a habit
of discussing what your kids are learning at
school at the dinner table. Spend less time
watching television and more time reading
together. Most important, share your own
enthusiasm about what you learn each day.
In the end, your actions speak much louder
than what you say…or pay.
DEBORAH STIPEK, PH.D.
Stipek, a professor and the dean of the
School of Education at Stanford University,
is the author of Motivated Minds: Raising
Children to Love Learning.

THE BEST ADVISORS most pressing concerns? Write Want the best advice for your to bestadvice@rodale.com.

DENTISTRY WELLNESS SEX AND

Steven M. Steven Lamm, MD RELATIONSHIPS
Butensky, DDS Dr. Lamm is a Lori Buckley, PsyD
Dr. Butensky is
professor of medicine Buckley is a clinical
the director of
at New York University psychologist who

aesthetic dentistry at

Medical Center and specializes in

New York University
the author of The couples, relationship,
Hardness Factor. and sex therapy in

College of Dentistry.

FITNESS
Mark Verstegen
Verstegen is
the founder and
chairman of Athletes’
Performance
elite performance
training centers
and the author of
Core Performance.

Pasadena, California.

MARRIAGE AND

FAMILY COUNSELING NU TRITION

Scott Haltzman, MD James O. Hill, PhD Dr. Haltzman is a Hill is the director clinical assistant of the Center for professor of psychiatry Human Nutrition at the and human behavior University of Colorado at Brown University and cofounder of and the author of The America on the Move, Secrets of Happily a national weight-gain- Married Men. prevention initiative.

Q: My friend was laid off. Should I pay for his lunch every time we meet? Yes, but resist the temptation to use your corporate plastic to treat him to $25 cheeseburgers at the same places you used to haunt when you both had jobs. We’re in a recession, buddy. Executives who used to fly the corporate jet now fly commercial. Once-generous senior managers are now squabbling over restaurant bills. Adjust your spending habits accordingly. Keep your business expenses low and your generosity on a personal basis. But by all means, buy him a club sandwich. Providing free bacon is what friends are for.